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Although seems like you're pretty decided in what to do, you still need a lot of improvement and experiment. You have to play around with your ideas and think like "What if..?" and not simply adding effects just for add to make it look "nice". Work a bit more on your focusing about what is good and what is bad for a video look by giving it a smooth effect, some nice angles and even some more pan/crops that can save and make look better your angles without messing a lot with them, it will give you better results and of course a big improvement No from me.
okay, now you can check it
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