Author Topic: Walls (Read 3310 times)

Eric · « **on:** September 09, 2007, 04:21:35 PM »

Hiding, behind the corner
a small child awaits
clutching the paperweight
bore on his shoulders

Hollowed faith and tears
on the small note near
twisted fate and fear
1000 cold nights await him

Silent, his punishment remains
silence is his greatest sorrow
the constant state of fighting
the hope of no tomorrow

Behind the corner he still hides
hands dirty, teary eyes
when will this torment end
so he can be taint free?

Look at what you've done
imprisoned in this sea of glass
with no escape but a match
rumble with yet no sound

they say you have to believe in something
they say you should believe in yourself
bunch of fucking hypocrites
the problems are still here

Hiding behind these walls and corners
has provent itself to solve nothing
you must drop the paperweight
or tomorrow will be nothingness

alright, tell me what you think?

FIGHTER · « **Reply #1 on:** September 09, 2007, 04:22:21 PM »

nothing...............

*And out of nowhere, a mysterious man on a harley davidson's flies through the window and puts a warn stamp in the forehead of the silly man.* //Marklund

Eric · « **Reply #2 on:** September 09, 2007, 05:11:39 PM »

Quote from: FIGHTER

nothing...............

wow...any others?

brandon6199 · « **Reply #3 on:** September 09, 2007, 10:42:02 PM »

lol @ fighter

cool poem

GTA_Guy · « **Reply #4 on:** September 09, 2007, 11:26:08 PM »

Nice, you really put your own style in it

Paxton · « **Reply #5 on:** September 10, 2007, 02:37:03 AM »

I read and re-read it, it sounds good. Nice words form this poem. GJ

Inwa · « **Reply #6 on:** September 10, 2007, 03:57:47 AM »

I like it.

Optical · « **Reply #7 on:** September 10, 2007, 04:45:52 AM »

Sounds like a song.

Souzuk · « **Reply #8 on:** September 10, 2007, 09:20:17 AM »

i read it and i like it

Eric · « **Reply #9 on:** September 10, 2007, 02:02:48 PM »

Quote from: Optical

Sounds like a song.

it can be, I have a melody to it almost complete, just need to figure out the key and I can put some chord progressions to it and some other stuff and it will sound cool.

Sprinter · « **Reply #10 on:** September 11, 2007, 12:06:36 AM »

i think it sux sounds like your trying to be symbolic but you dont actually represent the symbols you just say something random and then something meaningfull and we are supposed to connect it?

Nitro · « **Reply #11 on:** September 11, 2007, 05:43:11 AM »

Nice work Eric

marklund · « **Reply #12 on:** September 14, 2007, 03:37:58 AM »

Great poem Eric, you know your stuff.
Look, Fighter has a warn stamp on his forhead! Yay!

Ruchy · « **Reply #13 on:** September 14, 2007, 05:50:42 AM »

Wow , Eric , you`re really good at this stuff

gunner · « **Reply #14 on:** September 14, 2007, 08:02:45 AM »

Laaame.