some stuff I've written.

[Eric]

Memories Of The Lies And Trigger

From this world in which I came
full of lies and full of pain
I look at it and say
I will not go back again

I feel sheltered by my own
self assurance that I will
not let my memories dissolve
and drive me until

(Chorus)
I lose my mind
and decide to pull
the trigger you hold
because you told
the lies that made me choke

Tattooed on my mind
is the thought
to never go back
and hear the lies that made me choke

On my own breath I choke
as you said those words again
and as I think of the memories
That just went away

I held your icy hands
and felt none other
than the hate
you didnt have for another

(Chorus)
I lose my mind
and decide to pull
the trigger you hold
because you told
the lies that made me choke

Tattoed on my mind
is the thought
to never go back
and hear the lies that made me choke

(Solo)

I fought back against
the odds that made me weak
and as time lets me keep
these memories...
I attack

Hopefully this will be recorded when the demo comes out for my band.

The Last Suicide

As I leave the world today
I have nothing more to say
than to thank the world
for the mess it made

Sorry I couldnt make you happy
when things werent ok
Sorry I couldnt be there for you
when you had problems
every other day

I'm sorry that all I ever did
was bring misery and pain
I'm sorry that I wasnt able
to take your pain away

I'm sorry to everyone
whom I ever hurt
I'm sorry to everyone
who didnt understand

My pain was too strong
and the pills were too weak
All I ever did try
was try and be me...

Look at me now and you shall see
all the pain in my eyes
and what used to be
the purest thoughts and feelings
that shall never be

alcohol did nothing
but take me away...
All you ever did
was drive me insane

The gun in my hand
provides a haven
to try one last time
to die again

Alas, I feel my pain
and she's gone
I'm finally free
and happy again

Never to suffer again
I finally reached
the place in which
I can finally rest

a poem I wrote.

I think they're pretty good, how about you?

[Torque]

I think your a big pansy. can't wait for eric to respond

[Skyi]

I can see that they are written very honestly, and you've got flow in them. I liked some parts, and some parts I didn't. Sometimes it became too "emo", but some lines were great.

I think you're in the "suicide"/self-hatred/broken heart-era of your songwriting. I am very certain of that you will evolve into a great songwriter with time.

I had my suicide-eras some years back, I have a few great lyrics from that era, but most of them are kinda the same. I realized that there is so much more interesting stuff to write about.

Post a link to your bands songs when they're done here .

[Kenny]

Is the first one supposed to be melo-death? I think it would sound better if the other parts aside from the chorus were screamed and the chorus was sung with a clear voice.

The second one looks like an emo/metalcore song though, I recommend some acoustic guitar parts for the intro.

[Eric]

Is the first one supposed to be melo-death? I think it would sound better if the other parts aside from the chorus were screamed and the chorus was sung with a clear voice.

The second one looks like an emo/metalcore song though, I recommend some acoustic guitar parts for the intro.

the second one's a poem, it's not gonna become a song...I cant find concrete lyrics to that, but the first was actually based off a Bodom song so it can be screamed, but I'll probably find a way around it, anyway thanks guys.

[Rev]

ooh good job dude, wish i could play drums in your band..

[Brandon]

I think your a big pansy. can't wait for eric to respond

Better than anything you could write, you fucking cockbite.

[Eric]

I think your a big pansy. can't wait for eric to respond

Better than anything you could write, you fucking cockbite.

Brandon dude, you rule man, but check what he wrote in black so that no one could see it. Anyway, thanks for the comments guys, i apreciate it.