GTAStunting

Stunt Crew Network => Twisted Metal Stunters => Hall Of Fame => TMS Chat & News => Topic started by: Kingjad on October 07, 2008, 05:19:45 PM

Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Kingjad on October 07, 2008, 05:19:45 PM: I got up in the middle of the night last night to take a piss. I dozily turn on the light, lift the lid and I'm about to start urinating when I see an odd sight down below - and I don't mean my hairy genitals. Floating in the water in the bowels of the toilet, was a wee spider.

Now, a lot went through my sleep-deprived head at this moment in time; Is the wee bugger still alive? Should I flush before having a piss? It has 8 legs and yet can't swim, what kind of retarded spider is that? Then I thought just how in the hell did a spider get IN the loo in the first place - I can't conceive how it managed to find itself in that predicament unless the last person to use it had a spider up their arse. The final thing to go through my head was "At least it's no a crap" - carefully pissing around the edges so not to further humiliate the dead wee arachnid, I finally do my business and flushed the little fucker away.

This is a completely true story, even the bizarre thoughts going through my head at the time lol. I wonder if my fellow TMS-ers have similar bizarre random tales, that don't quite belong in the 'Ask TMS' thread and yet still deserve mentioned. Also, is it weird, or amusing, or disturbing, that instead of just pissing straight away I dawdled for a few moments pondering several things at once, like how the spider got there?
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Knapman on October 07, 2008, 05:35:22 PM: what...

the...

hell...

I had a spider in the toilet before, flushed and the urinated. YAY FOR WIERD STORIES!
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Simon on October 07, 2008, 06:14:36 PM: i had three spiders in the loo once :<
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Macsta on October 07, 2008, 06:15:47 PM: I have also found a spider in the toilet once, I hope it's normal to wonder how it got there, cause I thought about it.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Torque on October 07, 2008, 06:24:48 PM: This belongs in the humor section, you have been reported Kingjad.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Knapman on October 07, 2008, 06:47:51 PM: Quote from: Torque
This belongs in the humor section, you have been reported Kingjad.
Good job torque. Torque for mod!
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Kingjad on October 07, 2008, 07:18:55 PM: It doesn't belong in the humour section. That's mainly for spam, let's be honest. I'm glad people found my story worthy of being humourous though
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Flat Face on October 08, 2008, 03:04:39 AM: Quote from: Knapman
Quote from: Torque
This belongs in the humor section, you have been reported Kingjad.
Good job torque. Torque for mod!

x2

EDIT:

Quote from: Kert
I thought "Spider" joined TMS.

same Lol thats why i support torque I WAS MISSLEAD!
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Kert on October 08, 2008, 03:31:08 AM: I thought "Spider" joined TMS.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Bixel on October 08, 2008, 03:43:51 AM: why do you care about the spider ?
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: SnowMan on October 08, 2008, 03:54:50 AM: lol i had a spider in a toilett once too
i just flushed it away
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Stevex on October 08, 2008, 04:01:57 AM: Quote from: Kert
I thought "Spider" joined TMS.
x2 :/
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: puzzLe on October 08, 2008, 06:06:06 AM: Make that 3
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Rainbow on October 08, 2008, 06:25:11 AM: We had a bat (that flying thing in the dark) in the toilet wonder how it got there..
Didnt piss over it.. just get upstairs and take that toilet.. my father flushed it away.. my sis was scred as hell (she was 7 back then)
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Neotec on October 08, 2008, 06:57:16 AM: OWNED
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: TrYp on October 08, 2008, 08:32:57 AM: Awesome story
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Souzuk on October 08, 2008, 08:37:04 AM: thats a funny story.

when kingjad post something about spiders every one had the same problem too. funny and weird at the same time

Kingjad is a insider and needs to be in the TV.
Paris Hilton and G.W. Bush is a shit against you

very funny dood
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: ofthemountain on October 08, 2008, 08:44:56 AM: I thought you were making a shitty pun for getting someone new in the crew when I saw this
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Herb on October 08, 2008, 08:55:11 AM: i once coughed up a dead bug. it was in my phlem when i coughed. i was quite excited about it for some reason. lol
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: DaredevilX on October 08, 2008, 08:58:54 AM: Haha... I think I would do just the same - piss around it while thinking about it and then flush.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Skull on October 08, 2008, 09:32:12 AM: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Kenny on October 08, 2008, 09:52:34 AM: I've pissed on a dead cockroach in the urinal. I wonder if that's the reason why they call it a cockroach..
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Kingjad on October 08, 2008, 09:58:06 AM: Might explain how the dung beetle got its name as well I guess!
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: boxXx on October 08, 2008, 10:51:57 AM: i had alot of issues with spiders
but i still think the funniest was when barney had one on his knee, when he was running and yelling in the kitchen i was laughing my ass of hahaha.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Krow+ on October 08, 2008, 11:48:18 AM: Umm... I am arachniphobic, and above the door to my house, there is this huge furry little spider, so whenever I come into the house, run in and duck really low, for fear of it jumping on my head.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Shifftee on October 08, 2008, 12:28:10 PM: Quote from: Stevex
Quote from: Kert
I thought "Spider" joined TMS.
x2 :/
x3
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Raskal on October 08, 2008, 05:04:14 PM: dude, pissing on the spiders is the best.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Herrarge on October 09, 2008, 10:39:55 AM: Alice Cooper - Along Came A Spider

Just seen this on TV

A weird story by the way.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Mythic on October 09, 2008, 10:59:23 AM: Quote from: boxXx
but i still think the funniest was when barney had one on his knee, when he was running and yelling in the kitchen i was laughing my ass of hahaha.
That's typical in case Barney is arachnophobic, everyone having it in the stage I for example have, would run like a fuck when having one on their knee, though I have no idea what kind of spider he had in his knee.

Well not that way, I'd still laugh as hell if it would be happening to someone else while being on Skype.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Kingjad on October 09, 2008, 01:21:34 PM: UPDATE: I just saw another spider while I was having a piss. However, this spider was on the ceiling, ABOVE the bowl of the toilet. I now think I have an idea how the last spider fell in - suicide dive! Once again I expressed my relief that it was only a piss instead of a crap - imagine sitting down trying to relax and take a dump and then looking up to see a wee hairy spider directly above you, not knowing if it'll be at that exact moment for it to fall or not.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Mythic on October 09, 2008, 02:37:14 PM: Hairy... how big are they, exactly? Bigger than your fist? Or you have any idea, which kind of spider is it... (*Not with [img] tags though*)?
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Kingjad on October 09, 2008, 02:49:19 PM: The one in the toilet was absolutely tiny, smaller than a penny I'd imagine. The one tonight on the ceiling, a bit bigger than a penny, it wasn't huge but it was still bigger. Then I went downstairs, saw a massive one on the wall, beautiful garden spider.

Those are big fuckers, right there, much bigger than the one in my loo. I don't know why, but I don't like seeing pictures of spiders. I'm perfectly fine with seeing one in person, whether it's on the wall, on the ceiling or in my toilet bowl, but looking at pics of spiders online makes me feel a bit uneasy.

One time my sister found a spider in a box of grapes from ASDA (the UK equivilant of Walmart).
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Kert on October 09, 2008, 03:14:52 PM: Kingjad's edit: The following spoiler contains image of a spider - I know some folk get freaked by that so I put spoiler tags around it, sorry Kert
(http://www.cirrusimage.com/Spider/tarantula_bird_eating_1.jpg)

Found this in my coffee cup.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Kingjad on October 09, 2008, 04:52:46 PM: UPDATE: The wee bastard's still on the ceiling! This time I had to take a dump and it was a bit weird, being watched by a hairy 8-eyed bug. Or is it possibly dead? Can a spider die and still be upside-down on the ceiling I wonder? No signs of any web that it spun either.

On average a human eats something like 3 or 4 spiders in their lives. Usually it isn't intentional though
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Turtle Dick on October 09, 2008, 04:55:15 PM: Quote from: Kert
Kingjad's edit: The following spoiler contains image of a spider - I know some folk get freaked by that so I put spoiler tags around it, sorry Kert

(http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08196.jpg)
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Rocka on October 09, 2008, 08:13:43 PM: I don't know how you can just not pee at a bug inside your toilet. I can never do that! Often times I do catch some kind of bug and throw it down in there, but peeing on it is just pure fun. How often does that happen?!

Great story though . Made me laugh.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Kingjad on October 09, 2008, 08:25:14 PM: I peed around it!

Ceiling spider still there, and alive too - it moved over a few inches towards the area above the shower instead. I was gonna have a shower tomorrow but it'd be a bit odd having a spider land on me during it!
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Kert on October 09, 2008, 11:54:10 PM: It's a pic!!! Don't get freaked out, geez. For some that thing is a pet. I don't see dog pics in spoiler tags
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Mythic on October 10, 2008, 03:35:52 AM: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arachnophobia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arachnophobia)

I'd probably wouldn't like either if my picture would be spoilered, but yeah, it is true that some people are afraid of them, I for example can't be able to watch those pictures.

By the way when I was looking to the link to that Wikipedia article, for a second I thought that some people on there would actually be stupid enough to put a spider's picture to the article, nothing there though.
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: MeetMyMeat on October 10, 2008, 04:06:51 AM: The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the toilet spout...

...and then came KingJad and flushed that fucker out
Title: Along came a spider
Post by: Enough on October 10, 2008, 10:07:06 AM: Quote from: Kert
I thought "Spider" joined TMS.

x2