GTAStunting

General => General Discussion => Expression Section => Topic started by: Eric on August 08, 2007, 02:58:30 PM

Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Eric on August 08, 2007, 02:58:30 PM: Now I'm not much for poetry, but I guess I sparked it up this afternoon

Inside The Glass Orb

what if I were to write
all the hatred in this world
what if I were to draw
all the troubles in our souls

what if I were to record
the sounds of the screaming children
now silenced by their Gods
what if I were to erase...

What if my mind would think
outside this glass orb
see things from the other side
see the world from different eyes

What if we all were to come
together, all as one
what if we all were to breath
the same air, as from when we were born

what if our wars werent so destructive
maybe a child would actually see their father
an empty life, an empty soul
left scarred, scared and alone

what if I were to set down
flowers one last time
and close up the coffin
with our memories left behind

what if all the deities would come
and see us all, so that people
wont have to fight about
who will save and smite us all

what if 2 men of a different race
were to stand in the same land
and shake hands and treat each other like people
instead of master and slave

What if a parent would sit down and say
"son you did well, i'm very proud of you"
and prevent another human holocaust

why do I have to say all these things
when the things I say, mean nothing at all
as I watch the world go by
inside this glass orb
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Slaughtered on August 08, 2007, 03:19:55 PM: *Wipes a tear*
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Inwa on August 08, 2007, 03:32:55 PM: Nice Eric. You must be an awesome songwriter.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Eric on August 08, 2007, 03:35:32 PM: Thank you guys, that makes me smile, really.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Luky on August 09, 2007, 04:37:36 AM: Very nice Eric.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Ruchy on August 09, 2007, 04:40:12 AM: Awesome . Where do your inspiration comes from?
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Slaughtered on August 09, 2007, 04:49:07 AM: Maybe he writes about emotions that he feels in life , or a subject that he feels strongly about. Either way he must be the best poet on the forum.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Brainkiller on August 09, 2007, 05:14:52 AM: wow that was very...nice.

yea
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Optical on August 09, 2007, 05:16:01 AM: Great job Eric!
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: GTA_Guy on August 09, 2007, 05:30:25 AM: very nice man, I should have been able to read this after the war movie I saw last night..
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Eric on August 14, 2007, 07:44:11 AM: The poem to me is a rant, but a poetic rant about the rest of the world's problems, its the most straight forward thing I've written in regards to poetry, thanks guys, I was banned and couldnt see the replies.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: marklund on August 14, 2007, 11:49:45 AM: Wow, that's great!

When I read:
What if a parent would sit down and say
"son you did well, i'm very proud of you"
and prevent another human holocaust

I was thinking about Hitler, when he got denied because of his paintings and because of that tried to take over Germany. Was this your inspiration for that part?
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Eric on August 14, 2007, 12:08:23 PM: Quote from: marklund
Wow, that's great!

When I read:
What if a parent would sit down and say
"son you did well, i'm very proud of you"
and prevent another human holocaust

I was thinking about Hitler, when he got denied because of his paintings and because of that tried to take over Germany. Was this your inspiration for that part?

somewhat yes I did think of it, but I was speaking in more of a general sense since a lot of kids in the U.S.A especially and the rest of the world in general, dont have many parents who stop to look at some of the nice creative things the child does, and since he doesnt know any better he may turn to crime, I wrote it in that sense.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Ferσή on August 14, 2007, 06:05:22 PM: not bad, would make a good slow song
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Eric on August 14, 2007, 07:32:28 PM: Quote from: Feron
not bad, would make a good slow song

i'd need to make a chorus verse or something, but yeah it would since I could put a nice little harmony behind it with violins and shit, make it sound good.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Rocka on August 14, 2007, 10:20:31 PM: I got one for you:
"Why don't you shut the fuck up?"

Kidding. That was pretty cool dude, gotta say. I wrote a poem before, like yesterday. Go on myspace, and look at the bulletin. It's not as artistic as this.... but you'll see.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Ph33r on August 15, 2007, 06:48:13 AM: Dude.. That was one of the best I've read so far.. Great work.. Eric the Poet FTW!
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Eric on August 15, 2007, 08:10:41 AM: haha thanks guys and Rocka, I did read it and it was a great laugh to tell you the truth.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Rocka on August 15, 2007, 01:18:57 PM: Thanks buddy.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Eric on August 15, 2007, 09:23:25 PM: you're welcome alright guys keep em coming!
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Slaughtered on August 16, 2007, 10:02:48 AM: We make a deal , we keep our comments coming if you keep your writing coming d00d.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Eric on August 16, 2007, 01:05:32 PM: Quote from: StuntX
We make a deal , we keep our comments coming if you keep your writing coming d00d.

done deal, lets see when inspiration strikes me again.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Ferσή on August 16, 2007, 05:17:36 PM: inspiration for what its just a buncha words jumbled together to seem "symbolic"
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Eric on August 16, 2007, 05:27:36 PM: Quote from: Feron
inspiration for what its just a buncha words jumbled together to seem "symbolic"

well to get that symbolism and to get those "buncha words" to "jumble together" nicely and in a way that it actually means something, you need to have inspiration.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Slaughtered on August 17, 2007, 12:45:47 AM: If what eric wrote in his first post is 'just a buncha words thrown together' , Nitzkit is human. At actually takes skill , time and effort to come up with that. And inspiration IS what you need.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Nitro on August 17, 2007, 12:59:26 PM: Nice, good work Eric
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Eric on August 17, 2007, 04:03:53 PM: Quote from: Nitro
Nice, good work Eric

thank you, thank you.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Torque on August 17, 2007, 04:31:15 PM: Some really good stuff Eric, you've touched me in a way with your words - ways that I don't wanna be touched.
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Eric on August 17, 2007, 06:35:45 PM: Quote from: Torque
Some really good stuff Eric, you've touched me in a way with your words - ways that I don't wanna be touched.

I aim to please and pleasure
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: jessrocked on August 17, 2007, 06:54:59 PM: get lost... i mean, great work ::

ah,no,get lost really
Title: Some poetry I wrote...
Post by: Eric on August 17, 2007, 07:21:43 PM: Yup, The death of Jessrocked is near....that seems about right